Inner faces

I don’t know how things are sometimes so harsh on me
I don’t know why it occurs sometimes
..i don’t understand the phenomenon while things goes out of my hands
I have no idea how this sudden seriousness comes out of no where ......from the blank
It just out of control, certain embarrassments,,,,, certain disgrace,,,,, certain realisation,,,, certain emotions goes out ..... i just can’t help myself ,rather can’t control myself ....certain part....of my
Mind bombards,,,,, body shaken ,,,,,,thoughts broken ,,,,mouth slips .....Tones changed , hardened & harsh ...just like a glass full of emotions ......on forms like a concave shape due to surface tension.....just a little drop can make it out of control breaks its balance makes it fall....more than it has ..Just like this drop something out there, i don’t know what....but it just makes me feel disgusting and this certain drop for few seconds ignites my inner rage......
I wonder how come it is possible ,,,,i wanted a way to control all that.....i wanted a magic potion ...i wanted something that will keep my inner to only my self ...just doesn’t let it out no matter what..
I know there are certain feelings,, certain limits ,certain lines ,certain points inside mine that is unknown to me, when things comes to it and it can be hurt by a little sigh............................
This is truth that i don’t like people denying my presence ,,,denying my feelings ,denying my existence............and partially i don’t like people denying my words ...
I know people will never take me seriously.....,sometimes making fun is what i am.....,,maybe i don’t have any weight in my words..
I don’t remember a n incident when people appreciate me, a little.....
This is how it is happening until now...
maybe it won’t stop until something happens ....some alive thing....maybe i have to take myself out of the equation and think.......is it going well ,,is everyone is happy without my presence..i think for once iv e to be alone ,,,hide myself somewhere from this world and its people ............................................................. i don’t know what i be goanna do about it.....or I’ve to just wait for the right moment.....only time will tell its tale

Confinsanity

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I wonder how things works always like this
Sometimes it just cause a lot pain that my soul screams the hell out of my body
It’s not that i m dying or something, but it’s just so identical,,,, But its far worse than that.
A sparkling dim light burns constantly my overwhelming vision ......i m confuse just want to find out a way ....but can’t find.....how, how i don’t know ,i just want to find out a way to change it to my strength ,,,,,,ha-ha quite funny u know........but i don’t know i think insanity comes naturally to me ,,,it’s not that I’m insane or something................it just that i m occupied by millions of confusing mind blasting thoughts ........i m just corrupted inside my mind.....these thoughts are just blasting like millions of atom bomb blasting one by one in continuous order like an reaction in nucleolus ....uffff
I don’t know what to say anymore......

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